I bawled my eyes out last night listening to love songs. I’m a wreck today.

I guess I missed not having someone around. Someone to talk to. Someone to hold.

All my emotions came tumbling out yesterday.

Mr Boardie was like are you okie? You’re due for a good cry anyway.

I have lots of FWBs. The reason being is so that I don’t fall for any of them. It’s my safe guard. It’s not that I’m not emotionally available. My walls are up.

And yet I’ve let him in. Why the hell? I was just complacent. There was no way in the world I was going to fall for someone like him.

He’s not what I wanted. He wrote me this last night.

“Look Shiny

You are the girl I was supposed to meet at the end of this short journey. If you want to cut then cut.

I will still be chasing you when I’m done and ready for a committed relationship.

Let’s have a break for a few weeks and see how it makes us feel. But I want to give you your birthday present”

Don’t think he’s done. Don’t think he’d ever be ready for a committed relationship. The other night I felt so embarrassed. I don’t want to have to ever worry where he’s been or who he’s been with. He’s stirring up all of my insecurities.