When I was at my lowest I wanted to leave this world. I didn’t want to live anymore.

It was just easy to just go. Not be a bother to anyone. Just go peacefully ramming my car into a pole or something.

I still remembered those days. It hurted badly. I felt alone. I’d pin all my hope on Aubergine. The one that I thought was on the same wavelength as me. I thought he was it. I’d finally found him and then lost him just like that.
Why I fell for him? He believed in me . That I could do stuff that I didn’t think I could. I owed him who I am today.

Even now it still hurts . I still feel alone. But I’m okie with that. I close myself up. When you close yourself up you don’t get hurt. I’ve learnt.
This year saw me again at one of my lowest points in my life . Guess things happen for a reason. I don’t dwell on it. I just get on with life.

That’s the reason I started blogging again. Just write and not think. Just get it all out.

Just an emotional wreck tonight. Must be my time of the month..either that or all the stress of this year have caught up to me.

This is where I go to sit to clear my mind. No one ever goes there. They tend to stick to the main part. It’s like I have all that beach to myself .

In hindsight I should have gone wandering today. I always feel better when I do.

I might wake up early and go walkies tomorrow . I need it badly to get me out of this rut.