This mummy have been fried quite a few times over. I suck badly as a mum.

For a control freak being a mum was and still is the hardest job around.

When the kids came along my world kind of took a tumble and went upside down and well honestly it’s never righted its way upwards again .Considering my kids are going to be 14,19  and 21 this year it’s not getting any easier.

To make matters worse I married one of those easy going guy that never seemed to think anything is wrong. His favourite come back would have to be you’re making a mountain out of a mole hill.

This morning at 6am my phone vibrated and woke me up. It was my son downstairs wanting help. I turned over and asked hubby to go down and see what he wants. It’s like an unspoken agreement between the two of us. He deals better with sick kids. I’m only good at cooking congee, soups and making sure they take their meds on time. Not so good with the emotional, psychological, mentally exhausting side.

Guess it’s the control freak in me. I like my world to be ordered. I used to be prepared for the worse when they were babies. Yes, was brainwashed in the Scouts to the max. Be prepared they say and it’s the mantra I have lived with ever since.

Used to pack up my 4 wheel drive to the brim with nappies, change of clothes, shoes, hats you name it. A friend said to me it’s like your home away from home. Upon going out with the kids I’d scout for toilets and the food court.

At home they sleep at the same time each day, they napped with me at lunch regardless if they’d wanted it or not. They had the best disposable nappies on. Hubby was trying to save money once and well what happened? they came out with a nappy rash as the cheapo ones didn’t absorb as good. This was back 18-20 years ago. After that no more cheapos.

They never got wipes, I’d washed them at every nappy change. I made them meals from whatever I can get my hands on that was fresh.

As for the rest I sucked badly. So much so that I’d forget to turn up at the canteen for canteen duties. Or putting library books in to return on the right days. Instead of being upset my oldest was trying to console me, don’t worry mum we can hand it back next week. The poor kid, she was only 5-6 years old then. It had meant she couldn’t borrow a new book and yet she was worried about me more than anything else.

What terrified me the most as a mum would have to be that I’d damage my babies. You know physically from not looking after them properly or mentally by the way I treated them. Don’t know why but that was my greatest fear.

Some days looking at them I think what the? How did I do it? How did they grow this big and still okie? Well except for being such BAs they turned out quite well considering.  People keep on commenting how great they are. Hmmm wait til they try to get the lazy buggers to do chores then they wouldn’t think that then.

As for me? I’m still a dud of a mum. Don’t think it’s a job for the faint hearted like me.

Photo of him sharing a laugh with his sister. He thought the drawing was hilarious.