Looks like my friend is in the middle of an ugly divorce.

All I could think of is he’s not like that. I know him. He’s gentle and kind. Or do I know him that well? May be I don’t? 

The painted picture of him is tainted. I’ve known him since I was a teen. He was my patrol leader. He always made sure we were all safe and sound. I looked up to him.

Now he looks to me for advice. He sent me a photo yesterday of the court’s papers. All I could give him was make sure he records everything . Any financial transaction needed to be in writing . Receipts. Wages that’s cash money needed to be signed for etc. no cash dealings . Any accusations refuted with evidence. 

I’m sad for him for his life. A life wasted all because of love .

He fell in love with a Scout leader’s daughter. In the end he disapproved of their relationship. He deemed his daughter too good for the likes of my friend . She never fought her dad. 

Full of pride, hurt, ego he went back to VN to marry a young girl and brought her over. He claimed it’s more a responsibility than love. It’s hard he said. She’s been jilted before he couldn’t say no. Especially when his family have gone through the trouble of matchmaking.

The saying no bit led to many years of heartache. Him staying for the kids’ sake.

Well now all hell broke loose and they are heading down the divorce route. 

I’m sad for him. I can empathise . Sometimes we tie ourselves into knots and we can’t unravel them no matter how hard we try.

He said in hindsight I should have never married her. I said to him you should have let her go sooner. Now that she’s older who is going to marry her?

He replied, I couldn’t the kids were too young . Then when she got sick I felt it was my obligation to look after her. 

Obligations. Where did it get him? Nowhere . Now he’s stuck . She wants all that he has and full custody of the kids. 

I’m fearful for him but it’s a price he’s got to pay to get out. To regain his freedom.

I joked last time I was with him. I told him he needs to be celibate for the next two years . No rushing into another relationship until he’s ready. Not sure if he heard me.