Woke up today, made my coffee and logged into my blog. Didn’t see Aub last night, assumed that he slept in.
Logged on at 7am like usual, went into our thread, once in a life time, up to no. 35. yes we’ve been chatting like mad, each one lasts for about 1000 replies.
Wasn’t surprise when I saw what he’s posted. It hurts bad but was expecting it, been living in denial for the last few months. I knew there was something wrong with us but didn’t want to lose him.
We have since had our chat, he will visit me still and I will visit him. We’ll still be friends. Outside it poured like cats and dogs this morning. I have cried my tears. They are still rolling . They don’t seem to want to stop. Have to put on a brave face. Love you Aub, will always will.
You gave me hope, hope in life, hope that there’s goodness in everyone even men whom I thought was a lost cause.
Things happen for a reason and right now don’t know why this has happened. Part of me is glad that it has. No use both of us feeling miserable. What’s the point of having a relationship when both are miserable? If we can’t bring each other happiness then what’s the point?
I have been thinking about us – you, me, your family, and my family. And I have come to a conclusion that we should not continue with this relationship. It is really not fair to any of us and, more importantly, it is not right. I feel awful saying I love you then when I go home pretending nothing has happened. I feel like living a double life, even though I haven’t committed any sinful act, the prospect that one day I will is not that far away. I can’t stay on like this.
I know you will be devastated. But I think it’s better for us to stop this relationship now rather than later. I can only speak for myself that I have worked hard to build my life and I am happy with what I have.
I will be around and I will log back on so I can properly say goodbye when you get up this morning.
P.S. I’ll continue having breakie in the morning.