And whatever else. My eyes are puffy from all the crying. My hair looked like there’s not much left.

I went to the hair dresser yesterday whilst waiting for Telstra to change my mobile plan.

Needless to say I came out with less hair than I did going in. It’s very short.

I didn’t have a good day yesterday. It’s the hormones causing havoc again.

Mr Consultant wrote me this last night.

Sleep well. Wish we were naked together. Skin on skin.

I replied..

Hehehe you and your wishing. Not going to do you much good. Can’t be naked together if you’re not here my dear 😊

Him…Touché.

This morning I thought about it so I wrote him an extra long one.

Good morning P.. been doing a lot of soul searching. Don’t think we are suited. You’re too busy and well I need someone around. Chatting doesn’t cut it.

In my marriage I had to wait and wait and wait all these years for his attention.

I know you’ve been attentive messaging me. It’s just not enough.

I want someone that’s there. That I can feel, touch, smell, kiss and whatever else.

Happy to continue to chat but that’s all I can offer. Friendship.

V

In the scheme of things I am on the bottom rung of his ladder. I know what I need and I’m not about to tie myself up in another relationship where I’m bottom again.

It does things to your self esteem to always wait and wait for scraps. Lol