When I was at my lowest I wanted to leave this world. I didn’t want to live anymore.
It was just easy to just go. Not be a bother to anyone. Just go peacefully ramming my car into a pole or something.
I still remembered those days. It hurted badly. I felt alone. I’d pin all my hope on Aubergine. The one that I thought was on the same wavelength as me. I thought he was it. I’d finally found him and then lost him just like that.
Why I fell for him? He believed in me . That I could do stuff that I didn’t think I could. I owed him who I am today.
Even now it still hurts . I still feel alone. But I’m okie with that. I close myself up. When you close yourself up you don’t get hurt. I’ve learnt.
This year saw me again at one of my lowest points in my life . Guess things happen for a reason. I don’t dwell on it. I just get on with life.
That’s the reason I started blogging again. Just write and not think. Just get it all out.
Just an emotional wreck tonight. Must be my time of the month..either that or all the stress of this year have caught up to me.
This is where I go to sit to clear my mind. No one ever goes there. They tend to stick to the main part. It’s like I have all that beach to myself .
In hindsight I should have gone wandering today. I always feel better when I do.
I might wake up early and go walkies tomorrow . I need it badly to get me out of this rut.
Dewy's Place 
The beaches in your pics always look so quiet and serene like there’s barely anyone who ever visits them – it makes me want to go to the beach! A quiet beach! Hope your day got better today Dewy.
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Thank you I’m better today. Having my coffee and will have to go into the business for a few hours.
It is a quiet beach only when there’s no holiday makers and on week days.
That’s why I tend to sneak down week days as only locals around. It’s crazy when it’s holiday season tourists everywhere no parking chaotic and loud. I hate it. The only way to get some peace is to go walkies before the tourists get up from their late night binges.
Most of the year I get the beach to myself. Especially in Winter no one is around.
Do you live near the beach? Or are you from somewhere cold?
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Sorry to hear about a spell of the blues for you. I’m lucky to live near a beach too, and that’s exactly where I go when I need to decompress. There’s something about the water…
My negative moments come mostly in the middle of the night. I wake up and all those anxieties just pour out. Then I just sit there, stare at the ceiling, and listen to the snoring going on two feet from me. Somehow I get back to sleep, but it’s never fun. Hang in there… – Marty
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I’m okie Marty thanks š approaching the premenopausal stage so a bit bluey . You should get those snoring guard. Hubby reckons it works well one of his client swears by it. He says it’s a miracle he sleeps so well and his wife is happy that he’s stopped snoring . Hubby is going to give it a go.
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I’m about an hour 40 away from the water, my hidey hole. Have been trying to dodge shifts at work so I can go down weekly. Not working out that well. Have got 24/12-2/1 off so I’ll be down there all that week.
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