The more we talked. The more it felt like we were unsuited from the start.

He accused me of being disrespectful to his family. I told him I don’t have any problem with his sisters or brothers except for the one sponging off us.

How can you expect me to respect him and his wife when they cheat the government? Cheat and steal off even their own family and friends who trusted them? And well don’t even get me started on buying stolen goods.

As for your mum well I can’t, not when she sweet talks and stabs people behind their back. I don’t have any problem with your biological mum. She’s like a grandma to me.

I also told him I’m easy. I’m so easy and yet you don’t get it. All I’ve ever wanted was cuddles and kisses. For you to be my shield. Shield me from the ugliness of this world.

Yet you disappointed me. You put your extended family first before our little one. I still remembered wheeling your daughter to do groceries in the pouring rain. That day I wondered why you’d bother to buy me a car and didn’t bother to ask me for my permission to lend it out.

You lent it to your sister in law to drive your teenage niece and nephew to school so they didn’t have to catch the bus.

You didn’t consider your wife and a few months old baby walking in the pouring rain.

You made me wait all these years. Even now you still make me wait. I don’t want to wait anymore. I don’t want to be second best anymore.

Funny how waiting can erode one’s worth over time. It eats at you. It makes you think may be am not worthy enough for someone to be on time.

Today I nearly bawled my eyes out at dance fitness. The instructor was like don’t think of anything else. This is your hour. Have fun.

I’m grieving for our relationship. Can’t stop crying. Guess it’s better late than never.

Tomorrow I’m going to inspections. I’m going to find a rental to move out. Once financials are settled I’ll buy one but for now just to rent.

If need be the youngest can move in with me so she can study.

No point sticking around for two years when there’s no chance of reconciliation.I don’t want to hurt anymore. When your husband considers someone else before you. It’s an indication that it’s over.

Now to go find a job. C’est la vie.