I need to let him go fully. Last night was a huge mistake. Sat next to his cousin and his young girl friend. She was half his age.

In my eyes he’s a loser. Divorced no good for nothing. As for her she’s an overseas student only here til her visa expires. Guess that’s why she leeches on to him. Her PR status. She was looking after him all night. Of course.

As for hubby I asked him to drive us home before the evening started. His nephews were egging him on all night.

I got tired of watching him drink so I gathered up my kids. I was going to drive them home and leave him at the party. He can find his own way home.

In the end guess what? He followed us to the car. He drove us home. Our daughter was concerned. She commented on how he shouldn’t drive then.

She broke my heart last night when on the way there she commented…dad doesn’t mum look pretty tonight?

All night I sat there thinking. I didn’t belong to that crowd. Guess I never had. Felt like an alien. I felt conscious that I didn’t act the way they acted or dressed the way they dressed.

Anyhow all gone now. The very last bit of me hanging on is gone.

Last night showed me he doesn’t love me anymore. Him requesting me to stay on is just a facade.