My heart has closed its door. I’m shocked at it all. Considering it’s only been 3 months since we decided to call it quits.

The other night I felt like we were strangers. Yes we’d f each other but his whispers of sexy baby and whatever else kind of fell on deaf ears.

At the dinner I was sitting thinking I don’t know this person. It was awkward. He was obviously trying to be someone else. Talking to strangers like they were his best friends.

Or may be it’s the new him? And if it is I don’t want no part of it. Being friendly is one thing. Going over the top is another.

Am I being critical? Yes. I’m analysing as I go. The more I analyse the less I want to be with him.

It’s like all of the sudden a veil has lifted off in front of my eyes. I see him for who he is and have decided no he’s not for me.

Subconsciously I don’t want to end my marriage. Consciously yes I do want to.

It’s going to be hard by myself but I’ll get through it like I have all my life. No point crying over spilt milk. Just need time to get up and go buy some more.

Although at this moment in time I’m still on the floor figuring my next move.