When he’s hungry I feed him.

When he’s tired I give him a massage.

When he’s horny we have sex.

When he’s stressed I am there to lend an ear.

I wonder if he associates I am his sanctuary?

I joked today…saying I needed to go walkies or else someone will ditch his Dora. He doesn’t like fat girls.

Last night he spent the night at my place. I made him dinner. Well more like I made curry for my freezer and since he hasn’t had dinner I dished him some.

This morning he left early citing it’s a work day. I knew he was worried about his work and the Corona.

I’ve been unsettled today. This morning he accused me of using too much teeth whilst giving him a BJ. Then his abrupt departure.

Not to mention I couldn’t sleep last night. I dreamt we were in bed and I woke up with all of my three kids sitting there asking me why he’s in my bed?

Then the second dream was worse. I was about to give him head and I found his tip full of shit.

I woke up bewildered thinking I can’t suck it.

And yet..a bit emotional today. He went cycling the whole weekend. Didn’t get to me til 9ish then left early this morning.

Yesterday he did ring around 4-5pm asking if I wanted to go to Bendigo with him. Then that plan changed as he didn’t think it was a good idea with the lock down.

The thing is he wanted to take the caravan and nowhere to park it. He couldn’t go to his sister’s or his parents’ with me in tow. That was the reason.

All of the sudden everything just kind of added up. Though he did offer to take me camping next weekend with his cousins until it was canceled.

I don’t get it. I don’t get men. Feeling a bit hurt. May be I’m just oversensitive. May be my monthly is coming.

I’m supposed to go to his place tomorrow night after cooking for the kids to sleep over. Not sure if it’s a good idea. A bit sad today. The stress of the CV and getting locked down is getting to me.

I just want to get away just the two of us and leave the world as is.

I know he’s trying to squeeze me into his busy world just not working out too good.